The shoes:
The shirt:
THE HAIR:
The entire outfit:
Just living
Rose has been just living life. Going to fun birthday parties and hanging out with friends. Last night was tough though. A few friends slept over at her bffs house last night and she couldn’t. I don’t think it had anything with her being trans. The 2 kids that stayed over transferred schools and her bff hadn’t seen them in a while so that was the only reason they stayed the night.
We finally got her school pictures on Friday and they came out SO good! I am so very happy with them:
I got other backgrounds too, but they’re all the same pose. As soon as we get her brother’s ( he goes to a different school and they use a different company) we are going to hang the 8x10s in our living room. She is so excited about the fact that there will finally be pics up of her in the livingroom for all to see. (We took the family pics down from pre-transition ) She hadn’t asked us to take them down but I noticed she didn’t seem comfortable with them up. They are in the attic now with other memories we love, but don’t need to display.
We are going up to see hubby’s family in PA next weekend where we will all be meeting hubby’s father for the first time. We aren’t going to tell him that Rose is trans, at least not yet! We dunno if we will have an actual relationship with him so at this point it’s irrelevant. If we do like him and Rose gets to know him and wants him to know then she can give us the ok or tell him herself.
Creating Safer Spaces
So tonight is the ‘Parent Institute’ that the principal planned. I am hoping there’s a good turn out, but I’m also realistic. I have a feeling that, at most, it will be our circle of friends, my husband, myself and the 2 kids that are currently living with us.
There are 3 other parents I HOPE show up, but since 2 are in denial and 1 may not even know about the workshop I am pretty doubtful it will happen.
I am so exhausted because I didn’t sleep last night, then I had to drive my husband into work this AM so I could take our son to his dr. appt at 11a. I’m going to look like The Walking Dead cast me to play a zombie part.
I am so happy the Mazzoni Center is doing the workshop. I really hope to speak to them about starting a small peer group for our community. There aren’t many youths who are out in our town, but I have a feeling that more will be in years to come and I want them to know there is a safe space for them.
6 months
And I think it’s time to share some pictures.
Today is the 6 month mark of the day Rose walked out of her house as her true self to go to school.
6 months,met it seems like she was NEVER Tanner. Probably because she wasn’t lol.
April 13th, 2015
This is her before bed on October 12th, 2015
Words will never be capable of expressing how proud I am of her strength and her courage.
We live in a very small town and there’s no way to be stealth about her transition … still, her need to be true to herself was more important than anything else in the world.
WE HAVE ARRIVED BITCHES!!!
It has now become a common occurrence for doctors and their staff to think I’ve mistakenly checked the male box on forms.
This has happened in the ER as well.
Today when I explained the situation to the receptionist at the dental office, she thought I was pulling her leg lol.
Guess I cannot blame them, I often forget her assigned gender as well and get quite the shock if I need to help her change (like when she swore she broke her wrist lol).
And this is only 6 months post transitioning. I am constantly amazed by the body knowing that the genetalia is wrong.
School Picture Day
Is finally upon us! Tomorrow will be R ‘ s first professional pics. Soooo, of course I went a tad overboard lol.
Each sheet will have a different background and her name & grade will be on all the pictures.
She has forgotten that tomorrow is pictures so we haven’t had the “is have nothing to wear” fiasco occur yet. I have a feeling that tonight will be a hair touch up and rummaging through every outfit she owns kinda night.
UPDATED: 10/6/15 @ 12:11A
Just emailed the principal to make sure R is listed by her name now and not her birth name when her class goes to take pictures. I’m sure she is, but … FUCKING ANXIETY!!!
Law & Order SVU : Not just fiction
Tonight’s episode sent me into a full-blown panic attack withing the first few moments. In fact, I was so upset that I immediately went onto the FB support group I belong to in order to let everyone know that this episode could be triggering for our community. Luckily R was in her room and didn’t hear when the assailants were calling the young trans girl things like “he/she” and “tranny” or when they were attempting to take her skirt off to see what her genitals were.
I chose to continue watching the episode to see how this episode of SVU would handle this issue.
I admire the remorse by the main assailant but I tend to agree with the DA to a point. We make choices in life, we must accept that there can be consequences for those choices.
This child targeted a trans person, attempted to look up her skirt, used derogatory language and assaulted her. That assault resulted in the death of a HUMAN BEING.
As the parent of a trans-girl and a bonus mom of a trans-man … I do not take that lightly. This episode highlighted the fear I experience for my children EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Need your help
My friend Hannah Simpson is a trans advocate and journalist, working on a new piece about schools which are “doing it RIGHT” by trans students, as opposed to the contrary, which we hear about all too often.
You might have seen some of her work with Refinery29, or when she was a guest on MSNBC. She also works as an organizer for the Trans Lifeline. She and I met in person at this past year’s Philadelphia Trans Health Conference, she is legitimate and has become a penpal for my own daughter.
Hannah is looking for parents and schools/administrators who might be willing to speak to her, by phone or in person (if local to NY metro area), but anywhere in the US or Canada is fine. She is looking for a mix of experiences, public or private schools are fine, and at all levels elementary through university. She understands the sensitivity that comes with this, so her final story would not need to include real names of any students or their parents.
Some things that might be useful:
1. Did your school bring your child’s potentially being transgender to your attention as a parent?
2. Did your school anticipate any of your child’s needs in a way that surprised you?
3. Did your school successfully handle a crisis, as it came up. Examples: Teasing, a bully, etc…
The goal is to collect some of these examples and push the conversation on best practices.
R and I are hoping our principal will participate.
If you are interested, please comment here or you can reach out to Hannah directly via Facebook or message me and I’ll send you her phone number. Thanks so much for your help!
Marriage Equality passed so STFU
I am really tired of hearing this in a round about way out of the mouths of everyone from the “straight” folk all the way to the LGBTQ + community.
Simply being allowed to get married is inconsequential to those in the community who are still being discriminated against even by those IN THEIR OWN “COMMUNITY”.
We are all more than thrilled that marriage equality is law now. Hell the gay rights movement was kicked off by transgender folk and drag queens.
What the trans community is NOT happy about is the fact that even amongst the LGBTQ + community they are more likely to be discriminated against when it comes to housing, jobs and health care. They are more likely to self-harm or kill themselves. Transwomen are being killed off too fast. Transwomen of color… let’s not even get into that right now!!!
Trans – girls are thinking about self harming behavior as young as 5 YEARS OLD! 5 folks… what were YOU worried about at 5? Me, I was worried about getting a cabbage patch doll for Christmas or if I’d have to eat my Brussel sprouts before I could have dessert. I sure wasn’t worried about what would happen if I went to school and the kids beat me up for using the boys bathroom instead of the girls. I sure wasn’t worried that if I told mommy what gender I was that she’d hate me. I sure as shit wasn’t worried about my vagina being the WRONG part for my body.
I knew if I needed medical care, I would get it. I knew that the teacher would TEACH me rather than single me out for being different. I knew that my family loved me.
How in the hell is marriage the end all of LGBTQ + rights!!!???
Instead of telling me to sit down and shut up, instead of saying “got what I wanted, y’all are on your own” . .. how about the COMMUNITY rally around and say “We are NOT done, we need to support those who catapulted this success in THEIR time of need!!!”!?
Marriage equality isn’t going to mean much to my daughter if she isn’t alive to get married!
actimom 